Finally we got a new sponsorship deal signed! Newly fresh, I’m most honored to present to you the best beer in the whole Buckland, exported to all the four corners of Middle-Earth, including the Far Harad and Bellakar.
Lailócë
When you see the red star sign or the green dragon insignia in a pub, be sure to know: They have the best beer you could possibly have in Middle-Earth!
Don’t order for the light, sissy, girlie beer version of the Prancing Poney. Head straight on to: Lailócë! Because your inner dragon deserves it! Quench it!
Recommended by all Rohan horses!
Lailócë is a product designed for elves over 50 years old, men over 18 years old, hobbits over 33 years old and dwarves over 1 month old. Lailócë should not be consumed by minors. Drink responsibly. Share it with your horse.
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Elves = 50 (reasonable I suppose)
Men = 18 (Of course)
Hobbits = 33 (I didn’t know that!)
Dwarves = 1…..month (Huh? What on earth? I guess its the dwarves intolerance to beer)
Your last sentence had me cracking up! Very witty. Did TOlkien ever state the actual age stage (?) of the different species? (1-3 toddler, 4-11 child, etc?)
Here and there, Tolkien did. I read recently on Morgoth’s Ring (History of Middle-Earth Volume X) about the maturity of elves as well as their childhood. I even commented a bit here: http://quenya101.wordpress.com/2011/06/09/laws-and-customs-of-eldaron-families/ & http://quenya101.wordpress.com/2011/06/12/laws-and-customs-of-eldaron-families-ii/
Hobbits is well-know I think. Frodo becomes ‘of age’ on that famous party in the beginning of Lord Of The Rings. He was a minor before that and he turns 33 while Bilbo turns 111.
I can’t recall (if there’s any information) about Dwarves maturity. And as we know Dwarves’ taste for beer, that’s how the joke was born I guess. Instead of milk,…BEER!