Category Archives: Black Speech

One does not simply see an angry vagina

Why so serious? Ignorance is bliss and let’s laugh a bit about it! This is a funny post brought to you by The Bloggess and if this situation may have happened to you, well…it’s past time you start looking for new friends, man!

The Bloggess

What it’s like being friends with non-geek girls:

Friend: Why did you just send me a picture of an angry vagina?

The Bloggess: No, I didn’t. I sent you a picture of a kick-ass cake.

Friend: No. It was a hat. With an angry vagina on it.

The Bloggess: It’s a cake with the Eye of Sauron on it.

angry

Quickly-becoming-not-friend: The what of what?

The Bloggess: The giant, flaming eye. From Lord of the Rings(?)

Still-friend?: Really? Looks like vagina hat to me.

The Bloggess: Great. Now all I can see it’s an irritated vagina. You’re goddamn contagious.

Used-to-be-friend: Angry. The damn thing is furious. And why is it surrounded by Arabic?

The Bloggess: That’s elvish (alphabet).

Unknown stranger: Sometimes I wonder why we’re friends.

The Bloggess: Sometimes I wonder the same thing.

Now, perhaps…the Eye of Sauron is all ruined for us. We’re hardly gonna be able NOT to see an angry vagina, but that’s the price for ignorance (of others). And I can assure my friends (and still-friends) it’s not bliss! It’s angry, it’s very angry and it comes with Arabic on it!

Sauron Censored

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Filed under Black Speech, Food & Drink, Funny, The Lord Of The Rings

Elvish apps for our sore eyes

If you have been here with me for a while, you know how hard is to find a good nice decent source about Tolkien deep lore. It’s so cool when you find something worthy, like the last post about Khuzdûl; that definitely those kind of material deserve our attention, praise and mouth-to-mouth spread. Few weeks ago, I was contacted by a guy called G. Hussain Chinoy who donated to Quenya101 cause and also developed very good apps (not like this one) for Android.

Unfortunately, I’m an old elvish guy who resist to all kind of technologies in some way and haven’t got a Smart Phone yet, so I couldn’t test the apps, but when it comes to the audio of the Tengwar Alphabet App, well, it’s 101% approved! It’s ME speaking!! :D :D :D

http://mithlond.com/apps/TengwarTranscriber/

http://mithlond.com/apps/LearnTengwar/

If you have an Android, those are MUST HAVE apps for Tolkien fans and all those interested in learning Tengwar alphabet or perhaps transcribring something into Sindarin, English, Black Speech or Quenya Mode. Next time you’re on a subway, heading to work or school and suddenly that elvish itch takes you by storm and you desperately need to quench your thirst, do it with this Gatorade. Why bother trying to log in to the internet, searching with Google, loading pages AND THEN…after all that, getting a crappy site with shitty info? This won’t happen with Chinoy’s apps!

Also, don’t forget to contribute to his project if you can! People like him really deserve any help!

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Filed under App, Black Speech, Elvish, Quenya, Sindarin, Tengwar, Tolkien

Black Black Black…Speech!

Time has come to unleash the Orc inside of you!

In a time when people hypocritically (quoting dictionary: “saying that you have particular moral beliefs but behaving in a way that shows these are not sincere”) is talking about warm feelings, goodness, charity…and ho ho ho, merry Xmas…well I found quiet appropriate to share and stimulate my fellow elves to take a look at this fascinating site below about Black Speech, the language of Mordor.

As you may know, there are few corpora of Black Speech left by Tolkien himself. It wasn’t developed like Quenya. No, not by a long shot! So with the 2 or 3 sentences of attested Black Speech, you simply cannot speak the language! There’s nothing to study!

But…

There’s still hope! Like me, some people made their own “project” and they tried to rebuild Black Speech as a whole, with grammar, verbs conjugation, the whole deal! Are you getting excited??? Wait! Not yet!

Do you see that? It’s the alphabet! Partly based on Tengwar, partly on Angerthas, it was pretty well done and they even created the fonts so you could write Black Speech properly.

So,

let’s cut to the cheese! Here is what you need to talk like an orc, growl like an orc,…BE A ORC!

CLICK!

Uruks and the Black Speech

The word Uruk comes from the Black Speech and was used to describe the great soldier Orcs of Mordor and Isengard at the end of the Third Age of Middle-earth. The lesser orcs were called snaga or ‘slave’ in the Black Tongue. The Orcs were first bred by the Dark Power of the North in the Elder days. It is said that they had no language of their own, but took what they could of other tongues and perverted it to their own liking; yet they made only brutal jargons, scarcely sufficient even for their own needs, unless it were for curses and abuse. Theorcs being filled with malice, hating even their own kind, quickly developing as many barbarous dialects as their were groups and settlements of their race, so that their tongue, the Orkish Speech, was of little use to them in intercourse between tribes.

Ready to become an orc?

The diversity and mutability of the Orkish tongues was of course an obstacle for the Dark Lord using Orcs as his iron fist to subde the West. So for the purpose of efficient administration, Sauron took the time to devise the Black Speech for the purpose of controling his servants and vast armies.

It is said that the Black Speech was devised by Sauron in the Dark Years, and that he had desired to make it the language of all those that served him. Some say that he failed in that purpose, but we disagree with that assessment. If Sauron had regained the One Ring and been victorious in the War of the Ring, then the Black Speech would have become the Common Tongue of Middle-earth, much as the Westron or mannish speech was at the time of the end of the Third Age. Sauron was only just beginning to reassert his power in the world. The assertion that he failed in his attempt to make the Black Speech universal among his servants, comes from those outside the Black Gate of Mordor. Within the borders of the Land of Shadow, the Black Speech was the chosen form of communication between the many armies and minions of the Dark Lord.

After the overthrow of Sauron in the Second Age, this language in it’s ancient form was forgotten by all but the Nazgûl. When Sauron arose again, it became once more the language of Barad-dûr and of the captains of Mordor. The Inscription on the Ring was in the ancient Black Speech, while the curses of the Mordor-orc in the Third Age was in the more debased form used by the soldiers of the Dark Tower.

Do you find orcs too savage for your taste? Be a Ringwraith then!

The Black Speech flourished at the time of the fall of Mordor and was used as the common tongue among the many tribes and clans of Uruks that populated the Plain of Gorgoroth; from Udûn to Cirith Ungol to Barad-dûr. Without the Black Speech, it would have been impossible to have ordered the movements of such large forces in his war against the West. Sauron above all others, understood the value of order amid chaos, and so wanted to rule all of Middle-earth under the iron fist of the orc, ruled by the will of the Dark Lord.

What happened to the Black Speech after the fall of Sauron? In ever more debased forms, it may have lingered for a while among some of his former subjects. It is said the The Black Uruks of Barad-dûr still thrive in the Ash Mountains amid the ruin of the Dark Tower and are like a Shadow of Fear in that part of the world. Even today, it’s not wholly dead, for those who carry on the knowledge of the Black Speech of Mordor, keep it alive and give homage to the Shadow of Middle-earth.

Pick your tribe and let's head to the slaughter, you pushdug Uruk-glob!

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Filed under Black Speech, Inside Middle-Earth, Linguistics