Category Archives: Food & Drink

by Quenya101 | 02/15/2013 · 10:48 PM

One does not simply see an angry vagina

Why so serious? Ignorance is bliss and let’s laugh a bit about it! This is a funny post brought to you by The Bloggess and if this situation may have happened to you, well…it’s past time you start looking for new friends, man!

What it’s like being friends with non-geek girls:

Friend: Why did you just send me a picture of an angry vagina?

The Bloggess: No, I didn’t. I sent you a picture of a kick-ass cake.

Friend: No. It was a hat. With an angry vagina on it.

The Bloggess: It’s a cake with the Eye of Sauron on it.

Quickly-becoming-not-friend: The what of what?

The Bloggess: The giant, flaming eye. From Lord of the Rings(?)

Still-friend?: Really? Looks like vagina hat to me.

The Bloggess: Great. Now all I can see it’s an irritated vagina. You’re goddamn contagious.

Used-to-be-friend: Angry. The damn thing is furious. And why is it surrounded by Arabic?

The Bloggess: That’s elvish (alphabet).

Unknown stranger: Sometimes I wonder why we’re friends.

The Bloggess: Sometimes I wonder the same thing.

Now, perhaps…the Eye of Sauron is all ruined for us. We’re hardly gonna be able NOT to see an angry vagina, but that’s the price for ignorance (of others). And I can assure my friends (and still-friends) it’s not bliss! It’s angry, it’s very angry and it comes with Arabic on it!

About these ads

Get your barf bag ready! It’s Hobbit nausea time!

This might be true, this might be false, but rumor has it that the technology used when shooting the Hobbit movie (High speed+3D) may cause nausea and motion sickness among viewers.

What? Do you think I’m kidding and this is all made up as a joke or something? NO…it’s real deal. Check the news:

“Peter Jackson’s fantasy flick premiered in New Zealand on Nov. 28 and claims ofmotion sickness and nausea during early viewings of “The Hobbit” were first reported by The New Zealand Herald, which cited two anonymous sources. This report was followed by a review by Collider critic Dave Trumbore, who wrote: “Definite ‘motion sickness’ potential during scenes of chaotic action or fast-movement; the increased clarity often feels as if you’re standing on set with the actors/characters, so when they take a crazy tumble down a rabbit hole, for example, you feel just as disoriented.”

And you know what I say about that? HOOORAY! I wanna feel what they’re feeling on screen and who cares if I have to carry a barf bag with me? I see no problem with that!

I’m gonna go back to the movie, ok?

“Any possible “Hobbit” motion sickness has been rooted back to the film having beenshot using 3-D and new 48fps (frames per second) technology, double the standard rate of 24fps that has been used to shoot films since 1927. “The Hobbit” is the first major studio film to be projected at 48fps.”

See??? The higher the technology, the better the result is! If you barf, well it’s all your fault, you pussy! You should try at least some rainbows, for crying out loud!

2 Comments

Filed under Food & Drink, Funny, Hobbit, News, The Hobbit

Tagged as Frame rate, Hobbit, Nausea, New Zealand, New Zealand Herald, Peter Jackson, Warner Bros

by Quenya101 | 11/09/2012 · 5:45 PM

A Maia called….SpongeBob SquarePants

Ok, here is the thing: I’m drunk. You can see that by the title of this post (I guess). Today is Beerday and I’m really celebrating it the way it should be. As a matter of fact, while celebrating Beerday everybody knows one must sing aloud incoherently any stupid song that one has in mind when being drunk, because it is funny and because…yeah, because!

So, to make things shorter as they are already too long, here comes SpongeBob SquarePants (but you know…in QUENYA! because that’s what we do here….things in Quenya)

Ma nalyë manwa, híni?

Ná, ná, hesto!

Umin polë hlarital

NÁ, NÁ, HESTO!

A man marë yávessë nu i ëar

HwandeCalio TéracornaLanni

Ve hwan ar malina ar yo ecca naryë

HwandeCalio TéracornaLanni

Qui úsanalë ëarello ná i nat meril

HwandeCalio TéracornaLanni

Sië á tulë ciryanna ar á lilta ve lingwë

HwandeCalio TéracornaLanni

Manwa? HwandeCalio TéracornaLanni

HwandeCalio TéracornaLanni

HwandeCalio TéracornaLanni

HwandeCalio TéracornaLanni

PS: SpongeBob SquarePants is not a Maia who lives under the sea and I foresee a huge hangover tomorrow.

Water…water everywhere!

“Life is like a box of chocolates, you’ll never know what you’re gonna get”

- Forrest Gump’s Mama

Unfortunately, that’s true! Sometimes you get good things, sometimes you get bad things and most of the times you cannot control what you get. It just happens!

Since I founded Quenya101 Language Institute, I’d been getting extra good things! Thousands of people interested in the language (kind of a surprise in a way), who really enjoy the passion and dedication of the site. I’ve got the privilege of having 2 great co-authors, Ondo & Erutulco who write excellent posts here and contribute so much to spread the language even further, where English doesn’t reach. Good things, huh?

Quenya101 Creative Commons Rights

However, recently…I got kinda sad. Some cases popped up where people simply did not respect the authorship here of the site (The most blatant case of disrespect came from Brazilian Diego Phill). Ondo suffered that as well as I did. And I can assure you: it’s not a good sensation. You give freely and even though it’s like someone is stealing from you. No need. The most important thing Quenya101 staff asks is: “Please, give the credits to the one who deserves it”.

Due to all the facts above, Quenya101 Masters present the

Quenya101 Watermarks!

I had some resistance to the idea, but Ondo proposed, we debated and in the end, that’s the best way to avoid people who do not respect others’ creativity. In the future, you’ll see images with the author’s watermark and that’ll make easier to distinguish and help Quenya101 out there, in this World Wild Web!

As cute as it gets

Tengwar Quenya Mode Quick Guide

It’s Friday! (I mean… it’s Beerday!)

2 Comments

Filed under Art, Elvish, Food & Drink, Funny, Guide, Quenya, Tengwar

Tagged as Forrest Gump, life is like a box of chocolates, Quenya, Quenya101 Language Institute, Watermark

by Quenya101 | 08/17/2011 · 11:04 AM

Lembas King has renewed our contract!

As you may be aware of, Quenya101 Institute has been sponsored by Coimaso Aran since February, 2011. We had signed a 6-month contract and near to its end, the negotiations were not that smooth again. (Damn you capitalism).

Anyway…I’m honored to announce we have extended our contract and Quenya101 is still under its sponsorship and now presents its NEW DESIGN:

So…when you feel the itsy bitsy tiny hunger biting you inside…don’t let it become a monster…or an orc…or even a balrog! Head to Lembas King, where you can have it your way and you know that at Lembas King, there is only…

(OBS: New Coimaso Aran design done by Morconer and published in his Tumblr in 07/18/11. Excellent job, man!)

Un Vala vive en Argentina!

¡Sí, volví de la magnífica República Argentina y sorprendentemente, visité una tienda de Oromë! ¿Qué? ¿Cómo? No lo sé ni yo pero mirad mis fotos! Ellas hablan más que palabras.