How your Tolkien obsession affects your family & friends

If you feel some symptoms below are actually happening right now with you, your family members or any of your friends…..good job! You’re definitely spreading the Tolkien virus all over the place! Keep doing that!

Symptoms (you should be alert of…or not)

  1. Your younger siblings are not afraid to go to sleep because you hung a poster of Aragorn wielding his sword by their bed.
  2. The female members of your household have seen every new movie with Orlando Bloom in it and wondered where were his bow and arrows.
  3. Your father plays with Lord Of The Rings action figures or just stares proudly at them in his special collector’s shelf.
  4. Your newborn  cousin’s first word was in elvish.
  5. At least 2 other members of your family (apart from you) have held a Lord Of The Rings desktop background or screensaver.
  6. Your friends have avoided to mention the word ‘ring’ or ‘precious’ in your presence.
  7. Your friends refuse to go on a bowling alley with you because they know you’ll mess up the game insisting “they’re not balls, they’re palantiri” instead of playing.
  8. Your parents continually find their golden rings in the fireplace (Precaution is never enough, right?)
  9. When you’re trying to make some tough decision, you suddenly slips off into ‘Sméagol’ & ‘Gollum’ mode.
  10. Every time you see a black horse, you do a Ringwraith screech and afterwards start hiding.
  11. Every time you enter some place with security cameras, you think: “The Eye is always watching”
  12. You start having urges for lembas and tea.
  13. You start to talk with inanimate objects and call them ‘my precious’
  14. Whenever you go fishing you hear a little voice in the back of your head: “But Déagol, it’s my birthday”
  15. Every time you hear the words potatos, you start craving for fish and chips.
  16. You start signing letters & emails with: “May the Valar protect you”
  17. Your everyday expressions include: mára aurë, alassenya, hantanyel, namárië  and others. Noteworthy to say is that people around you DO understand what you’re saying!
  18. All the females in you family have become experts in braiding the hair-dos of the all the elves.
  19. You start to “cultivate” more hair than needed in some parts of your body.(Inspired by Annaelena, modified by Erunno & contributed  also by Ondo & Melpomenë)


Filed under Funny

3 responses to “How your Tolkien obsession affects your family & friends

  1. Pingback: Elvish Democracy | quenya101

  2. Hilarious!
    And worst of all, that is all true!

  3. Melpomene

    19. Your entire Sunday school class has learned their prayers in Sindarin.
    20. All the females in you family have become experts in braiding the hair-dos of the all the elves.

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