I’m on my snowy vacation in the southernmost parts of Arda, but here is my tip if you wanna enjoy the last days of Summer vacation: Mordor! The best featured park you will ever find in all Middle-Earth. Take a look at the attractions:
Visit the most iconic place in Mordor and be scared the shit out of you! Foul lurking creatures everywhere! Fun is guaranteed!
Fly on the wings of those cute pets and bump them all!!!! Caution: Keep away from ladies of Rohan! They don’t know how to play right!
Walk into Shelob’s tunnel and try to win the ultra hyper special prize in the end: Your life!
In Mordor, you are loved and cherished! If you feel lonely, come to the Free Hugs booth and be hugged! PS: Kissing is additional: $1
Are you hungry? Come to Mordor restaurants and taste the exquisite delights of Orcish cuisine such as: Rotten Meat, Stinking Maggot Bread and Filthy Water. Bon appétit!
Are you a costumes fan? In Mordor, you can participate in the costumes parade. It’s simple and fun! Purchase one of our Orc costumes OR be spotted as an invader and put to death! Hooray!
If you’re an adrenalin addicted, we have the right amount of fun for you too! Our most radical rides include: Fatal Jump on Orodruin, Leaping with the Ring ON in front of the Eye and Walking into Mordor with the Stars…
Wild, isn’t it?
Ask mom and dad and come to Mordor. Enjoy a happy day with us! It’s an unforgettable experience! Regrettable? Maybe…but not forgettable! No way!