Bank of Valinor

Economic crisis? Banks with rotten credit all over the World? Real estate market falling like a spiral to the ground? NOT here, my friend…not in Valinor.

At Bank of Valinor, we take seriously the position we hold in helping serve as an engine of growth and success for millions of individuals, households, families, and businesses of every size and of every race*. 

*Bank of Valinor and its subsidiaries do not support financially any Orcish venture.

A financial health of a bank goes hand in hand with the kind of bank loan practiced there. Rigid banks profit less, but are safer and they tend to work properly within its “boundaries”. A bank too flexible can compromise its own financial health and bring down the whole system with it (i.e. this motherf… economic crisis those goddam.. banks put us in)

Having this in mind…can you imagine how I was blown up to the core when I received mail from the Bank of Valinor (which I was expecting at all) and when I opened it………..

My own custom Visa Platinum Valinor!!!!!!

And I mean it! Now you may be wondering….WHAT? Is this some kind of joke? Is that real? What’s that? I can’t even see it!

It`s as real as my fingers holding it! Take a better look!

See???? I held back some info for security reason, of course…but look…my name, my own!!! And the beautiful (copyrighted) background of the elves in Cuiviénen!

Man…….I was in heaven when I saw that!!!!

If you wanna get yours, don’t be shy….elves usually don`t charge hidden fees! Dwarves do, not elves!

How can you get one? Visit any branch office of Bank of Valinor next to you and ask yours now!!!!*

*Availability dependent on credit report information & current income

I can`t wait to use it!


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Filed under Bank, Funny, News

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