Tag Archives: Mordor

Q101 Spring Collection

…has blossomed!

Q101 Tuilë Logo

A new Spring from a new century (Tuilë XV 1) is upon us and it’s time to renew our wardrobes! See what has flourished in this NEW Q101 Shop Collection!

Check out our new products and designs:

King in the NorthAll we have to decide is what to do with the joystick that is given to usNárëPrecious LoopsBlack RiderLembasQ101 Tuilë LogoI am HUGE in the ShireSúrëMake Mordor great againIt's a crapEä as elves know it

Let your elvish style BLOOM with Q101 Shop…


Q101 Tuilë Logo medium

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Filed under A Game of Thrones, Ads, Art, Clothing, Elvish, Food & Drink, Gandalf, Hobbit, Kanji, Nazgûl, Q101 Shop, Quenya, Shop, Star Wars, Tengwar, The Hobbit, The Lord Of The Rings, Tolkien

Can you face the RISK in LotR?

Resuming our Top 10 LotR board games, now we have….


Risk: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy Edition



A new version of Risk, with the following differences:

The map is of Middle Earth, and the tokens represent armies of that fictional world.

You play either good or evil.

Leaders, missions and sites of power have been added.

The One Ring acts as a timing mechanism, when it leaves the board, the game ends.

  • Gameboard
  • 4 Complete armies in different colors:

– 40 Elven Archers/Orcs
– 12 Riders of Rohan/Dark Riders
– 6 Eagles/Cave Trolls
– 2 shields per color

  • 42 Territory Cards (9 Good, 9 Evil, 24 Neutral)
  • 2 Wild Cards
  • 40 Adventure Cards
  • The One Ring
  • 3 Red Dice
  • 2 Black Dice

And in this expanded Trilogy Edition, there’s also:

  • The detailed gameboard reflects a complete map of Middle-Earth including the Gondor, Mordor, and Haradwaith territories.
  • Includes materials from the entire Lord of the Rings film trilogy.
  • Additional Territory cards.
  • Additional Battalions.
  • Additional Adventure Cards.
  • Alternate ways to play including special rules for alliance team play.

If you’re a wargames fan like I am, this one should bring some hours of fun to your table. After all, it’s RISK we’re talking about! Risk+LotR! It couldn’t get better!

to be continued…




Filed under Board Games, Games, Map, The Lord Of The Rings

One does not simply see an angry vagina

Why so serious? Ignorance is bliss and let’s laugh a bit about it! This is a funny post brought to you by The Bloggess and if this situation may have happened to you, well…it’s past time you start looking for new friends, man!

The Bloggess

What it’s like being friends with non-geek girls:

Friend: Why did you just send me a picture of an angry vagina?

The Bloggess: No, I didn’t. I sent you a picture of a kick-ass cake.

Friend: No. It was a hat. With an angry vagina on it.

The Bloggess: It’s a cake with the Eye of Sauron on it.


Quickly-becoming-not-friend: The what of what?

The Bloggess: The giant, flaming eye. From Lord of the Rings(?)

Still-friend?: Really? Looks like vagina hat to me.

The Bloggess: Great. Now all I can see it’s an irritated vagina. You’re goddamn contagious.

Used-to-be-friend: Angry. The damn thing is furious. And why is it surrounded by Arabic?

The Bloggess: That’s elvish (alphabet).

Unknown stranger: Sometimes I wonder why we’re friends.

The Bloggess: Sometimes I wonder the same thing.

Now, perhaps…the Eye of Sauron is all ruined for us. We’re hardly gonna be able NOT to see an angry vagina, but that’s the price for ignorance (of others). And I can assure my friends (and still-friends) it’s not bliss! It’s angry, it’s very angry and it comes with Arabic on it!

Sauron Censored



Filed under Black Speech, Food & Drink, Funny, The Lord Of The Rings

Lord of the Rings flows…

Which Tolkien fan doesn’t know the map designed by his son and included in almost every Lord of the Rings trilogy?

That’s so iconic, isn’t it? It’s just a piece of fantasy map, but I’m sure you have gazed upon it for hours and hours while reading all the events involving the War of the Ring and the quest for its destruction.

Well, instead of this traditional approach of mapping and following our Lord of the Rings characters through Middle-Earth, xkcd site brilliantly came up with this:

(click and check it huge)

 It charts the itinerary of the story’s main characters, individually and in group, showing when they meet, separate and rejoin each other. The progression is from left to right, not only in tune with the traditional (Western) reading direction but also mirroring the trajectory in the story itself, which starts in the Shire on Middle-Earth’s western edge and leads to Mordor in the east.

The geographic parallel only partly holds up: at the very end of the story, after they have returned to the Shire, some members of the Fellowship board ships to the west, but their trajectories trail off the map on its top right (i.e. northeastern) corner.

The map is however an excellent tool to identify the different strands of the story as it progresses. The main thread, in yellow, follows the Ring itself: first with Bilbo as Ringbearer and then Frodo, who carries it to Mordor to be destroyed. The trajectories are also colour-coded to identify the different races: green for Hobbits, grey for Wizards, light-brown for Men, dark-brown for Dwarves, light-blue for Elves, dark-blue for Ents. Sauron, the Evil One, is a dark red. Black is for the Orcs, Uruk-Hai and his other minions.

Battles, events and important episodes are indicated by a light grey background; the attack at Weathertop, the Council of Elrond, the Breaking of the Fellowship, the Battle at Helm’s Deep, etc.

Source: bigthink.com

Pretty cool and original way to draw a map! (I love maps) I wonder how a flow chart of A Game of Thrones would look like following the idea proposed here by this one.

Next time you reread Lord of the Rings, give a shot and consider grabbing this very different map to follow the story inch by inch while comparing the changes between the movies and the book.

THAT’s what I call a Lord of the Rings Marathon!



Filed under Geography, Guide, Map, The Lord Of The Rings, Tolkien

Black Black Black…Speech!

Time has come to unleash the Orc inside of you!

In a time when people hypocritically (quoting dictionary: “saying that you have particular moral beliefs but behaving in a way that shows these are not sincere”) is talking about warm feelings, goodness, charity…and ho ho ho, merry Xmas…well I found quiet appropriate to share and stimulate my fellow elves to take a look at this fascinating site below about Black Speech, the language of Mordor.

As you may know, there are few corpora of Black Speech left by Tolkien himself. It wasn’t developed like Quenya. No, not by a long shot! So with the 2 or 3 sentences of attested Black Speech, you simply cannot speak the language! There’s nothing to study!


There’s still hope! Like me, some people made their own “project” and they tried to rebuild Black Speech as a whole, with grammar, verbs conjugation, the whole deal! Are you getting excited??? Wait! Not yet!

Do you see that? It’s the alphabet! Partly based on Tengwar, partly on Angerthas, it was pretty well done and they even created the fonts so you could write Black Speech properly.


let’s cut to the cheese! Here is what you need to talk like an orc, growl like an orc,…BE A ORC!


Uruks and the Black Speech

The word Uruk comes from the Black Speech and was used to describe the great soldier Orcs of Mordor and Isengard at the end of the Third Age of Middle-earth. The lesser orcs were called snaga or ‘slave’ in the Black Tongue. The Orcs were first bred by the Dark Power of the North in the Elder days. It is said that they had no language of their own, but took what they could of other tongues and perverted it to their own liking; yet they made only brutal jargons, scarcely sufficient even for their own needs, unless it were for curses and abuse. Theorcs being filled with malice, hating even their own kind, quickly developing as many barbarous dialects as their were groups and settlements of their race, so that their tongue, the Orkish Speech, was of little use to them in intercourse between tribes.

Ready to become an orc?

The diversity and mutability of the Orkish tongues was of course an obstacle for the Dark Lord using Orcs as his iron fist to subde the West. So for the purpose of efficient administration, Sauron took the time to devise the Black Speech for the purpose of controling his servants and vast armies.

It is said that the Black Speech was devised by Sauron in the Dark Years, and that he had desired to make it the language of all those that served him. Some say that he failed in that purpose, but we disagree with that assessment. If Sauron had regained the One Ring and been victorious in the War of the Ring, then the Black Speech would have become the Common Tongue of Middle-earth, much as the Westron or mannish speech was at the time of the end of the Third Age. Sauron was only just beginning to reassert his power in the world. The assertion that he failed in his attempt to make the Black Speech universal among his servants, comes from those outside the Black Gate of Mordor. Within the borders of the Land of Shadow, the Black Speech was the chosen form of communication between the many armies and minions of the Dark Lord.

After the overthrow of Sauron in the Second Age, this language in it’s ancient form was forgotten by all but the Nazgûl. When Sauron arose again, it became once more the language of Barad-dûr and of the captains of Mordor. The Inscription on the Ring was in the ancient Black Speech, while the curses of the Mordor-orc in the Third Age was in the more debased form used by the soldiers of the Dark Tower.

Do you find orcs too savage for your taste? Be a Ringwraith then!

The Black Speech flourished at the time of the fall of Mordor and was used as the common tongue among the many tribes and clans of Uruks that populated the Plain of Gorgoroth; from Udûn to Cirith Ungol to Barad-dûr. Without the Black Speech, it would have been impossible to have ordered the movements of such large forces in his war against the West. Sauron above all others, understood the value of order amid chaos, and so wanted to rule all of Middle-earth under the iron fist of the orc, ruled by the will of the Dark Lord.

What happened to the Black Speech after the fall of Sauron? In ever more debased forms, it may have lingered for a while among some of his former subjects. It is said the The Black Uruks of Barad-dûr still thrive in the Ash Mountains amid the ruin of the Dark Tower and are like a Shadow of Fear in that part of the world. Even today, it’s not wholly dead, for those who carry on the knowledge of the Black Speech of Mordor, keep it alive and give homage to the Shadow of Middle-earth.

Pick your tribe and let's head to the slaughter, you pushdug Uruk-glob!

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Filed under Black Speech, Inside Middle-Earth, Linguistics

Occupy Mordor NOW!

WE ARE THE 99.9%!

(Morgoth & Sauron are just 0.01%.)

What are they gonna do against us?

They can’t turn us all into orcs, right? Right???

(Wait…Can they?)


Share your protest here too!

It doesn’t matter if you’re a hobbit, elf or man. Your voice deserves to be heard!


Filed under Funny, News

Mordor: Come and walk into it!


I’m on my snowy vacation in the southernmost parts of Arda, but here is my tip if you wanna enjoy the last days of Summer vacation: Mordor! The best featured park you will ever find in all Middle-Earth. Take a look at the attractions:

The Castle of Cinderella…err..I mean…Witch-King….yeah..that’s Minas Morgul

Visit the most iconic place in Mordor and be scared the shit out of you! Foul lurking creatures everywhere! Fun is guaranteed!

Bumper Nazgûl!

Fly on the wings of those cute pets and bump them all!!!! Caution: Keep away from ladies of Rohan! They don’t know how to play right!

Shelob’s maze

Walk into Shelob’s tunnel and try to win the ultra hyper special prize in the end: Your life!

Free hugs!

In Mordor, you are loved and cherished! If you feel lonely, come to the Free Hugs booth and be hugged! PS: Kissing is additional: $1


Are you hungry? Come to Mordor restaurants and taste the exquisite delights of Orcish cuisine such as: Rotten Meat, Stinking Maggot Bread and Filthy Water. Bon appétit!

Get dressed, get hidden!

Are you a costumes fan? In Mordor, you can participate in the costumes parade. It’s simple and fun! Purchase one of our Orc costumes OR be spotted as an invader and put to death! Hooray!

Radical rides too

If you’re an adrenalin addicted, we have the right amount of fun for you too! Our most radical rides include: Fatal Jump on Orodruin, Leaping with the Ring ON in front of the Eye and Walking into Mordor with the Stars…

A walk in the wild side

Wild, isn’t it?


Ask mom and dad and come to Mordor. Enjoy a happy day with us! It’s an unforgettable experience! Regrettable? Maybe…but not forgettable! No way!


White Tree Award


Filed under Funny